- To become more comfortable with who God made me while still striving to be the best me.
- To replace my image of God with a true authentic image
- Realizing God LOVES ME, Not my idea of who I should be :God and I have never had a very formal relationship. In that I mean I don't "thee and thou" him and he doesn't give me long drawn out "I told you so" lectures. For me, ever since I can remember Jesus has been my best friend. The person I can tell all my secrets to. Because let's face it. He is the best secret keeper ever! He abhors gossip. With him I don't have to think over every word because he understands no matter how incoherent my ramblings.I have been a "Church Goer" since I was very little. My Grandmother took me as a small child. I went to a Southern Baptist elementary school. I attended various Churches on my own throughout junior high and high school. I don't remember the moment I excepted God into my life (which really isn't surprising because I can rarely remember what I had for breakfast). But I do remember re-committing myself on several occasions. Well, re-committing sounds too formal and mature. It was more like I finally took my fingers out of my ears and stop singing "lalalala" so I could hear him.But even with the long history Jesus and I share I didn't trust this unconditional love. Part of me believed that he hadn't seen the worst of my failings and at any moment the rug would be pulled out from under me. If I thought the wrong thought or had a bad day or flipped off the guy who cut me off on the freeway I was doomed. God would see it and say "What did I ever see in her?" and give up on me.So, I tried to be perfect. And I'm sure you know what happens when people TRY to be perfect. We fail, miserably. I got really good at failing. I got so good I began to believe it was the only thing I was good at.I read a quote once that said something like, "My relationship with God suffers when I have my act together. Probably because I'm just acting". Well that was me. Trying to act my way through life instead of letting God into my "real" life. It took me a long while to finally believe God prefers honesty over perfection.So God and I developed an even less formal relationship when I had an awe moment. If God knew me before I was born then he knew how faulted I would be. He knew all the crap I would do to mess up my life before he chose to create me. He knew and loved me anyway! He didn't want me to be an imitation of perfection. He wanted me to be me.He wants me to bring my anger and frustration to him. Not the self righteous prayers of a person trying to pretend faultlessness. God prefers I yell and yes even curse while conversing with him. He prefers honesty in my asking his for help and intervention in my discontent. Honesty instead of denial. Because denial means I'm still holding on to it. Honesty means I'm letting him in to my darkest places to shine a light. Even when the place is not so pretty.That is not to say that I gave up trying to be good. It's just now I let God sculpt me instead of me forcing myself into a mold I was not made for. When I lose my tempter and flip off the guy on the freeway (yes, it still happens on occasion) instead of hiding from God, I open myself knowing that he isn't going anywhere. He just asks if I'm done with my hissy fit and then starts sanding my rough edges.Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.
- To not allow fear of failure stop me from tapping and sharing my creative side.
- Create a space that encourages creativity
- Create a calendar that allows time to focus and mediate on creative endeavors.
- Allow God into every aspect of my life:Being creative is celebrating the image of God he gave to you at creation. Being creative & practicing love are the best ways I move closer to God.